


What You Make of It

by Kuailong



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/F, Mention of sex, mention of PTSD, mention of burns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 09:26:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6417994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuailong/pseuds/Kuailong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha was pretty good at getting people to listen, but a stubborn girlfriend was an entirely different matter. Oh, and then it blew up in her face. Because it did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What You Make of It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [paroxferox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/paroxferox/gifts).



> So this is the exchange pinch-hit. That was supposed to be done 2-3 weeks ago. I'm a literal human trash heap. I lost like a week or so to fatigue, pain and narcotics. So I'm really sorry, I really am.

“C’mon, it’s just dinner.” Natasha was not above carting Pepper out against her will, but an unwilling Meta, especially a new one, was probably not the best thing at the moment.

“Natasha, I’m staying here. I don’t want to go out.” Natasha just rolled her eyes, mostly for show than anything else, and dropped her much smaller frame onto the couch next to Pepper.

“You mean you’re scared to go out. You haven’t left the Tower at all, Pepper. I’d say it was lucky you live where you work, but right now, that’s not the best for this situation. You need to get out, you need to go back to living how you lived before. You haven’t changed.” It was going on three weeks, and Natasha was pestering her girlfriend more and more frequently. Not that the redhead had much experience in the way of normalcy and going back to it. Her whole change happened under completely different circumstances.

“Natasha, I’m a living bo—” 

“If you say bomb one more goddamn time, I’m going to shove my entire hand in your mouth until you cooperate.” Natasha interrupted before Pepper could even finish that thought. 

“That seems like an odd deterrent. And knowing you, it probably won’t be a deterrent, but a distraction.” Pepper’s brow knit as she weighed her options. They had been doing everything but sex since Extremis, but sometimes Natasha was too much of a tease.

Natasha, for her part, just sat there and gave Pepper a look. Three weeks was long enough, and Natasha knew the problem now was fear. It had taken pure pig-headed stubbornness to even get Pepper to touch her again. Just touch, not even anything sexual. The entire situation was testing Natasha’s patience, and her stubbornness threshold. 

“Nat, I can’t. Not yet.” It was almost pleading, Pepper was scared. Terrified. She knew she had decent control, thanks to Natasha, but the idea of being surrounded by innocent people, the risk was just too much for her. She wasn’t ready, despite her girlfriend seeming to have other plans. 

“Pepper, you have complete control over it now, even if you don’t think so. You’ve acclimated twice as fast as anyone I’ve ever seen, but we already knew you were extraordinary. You’re not going to hurt anyone, and I’ll be with you. If you run hot, we’ll come back. But I don’t think that will happen. I have faith in your abilities, Pepper. You need to rejoin the world before the SI board melts down like a six year old birthday party gone wrong. We both know that. Trust me, because I sure as hell trust you.”

“I’m not ready, Tash. I’m not. I will be eventually, but I’m not now.” Natasha just rolled her eyes and lifted herself up, over, turned around, and set herself on Pepper’s lap. Knees pressed against her girlfriend’s hips and legs folded up under the redhead made for an awkward position on Natasha’s part. But not uncomfortable.

“Look, you are. You’re ready. You’re not even overly warm right now, and I’m all but riding you like a show pony. You have control. Pepper, you need to trust your own abilities. I’ve never seen you back down from a challenge, but you’ve been backing down for weeks. This isn’t you. And I want to see you be you again, you’re not happy cooped up like this. Everyone can see that.” Natasha rolled her hips on Pepper’s lap, only proving her point. The slightest sensual touch used to send Pepper’s temperature through the roof, and now Natasha was grinding on Pepper’s lap, and the other woman wasn’t even flushed. And Pepper just sighed, closing her eyes.

“Fine. A few hours, nothing more. And we don’t go far.” Natasha just grinned and leaned in for a kiss, her meager weight pressing against Pepper. And Natasha made the kiss worth it, because eventually Pepper was pushing her girlfriend away. “Natasha, I need to breathe. You always conveniently forget that.” The redhead laughed, pulling away on her own.

“I don’t forget, I’m training you to kiss longer.” Natasha stuck her tongue out to accompany the words, and then shimmied off of Pepper’s lap. “Go get dressed, we can go out to eat.” She waved Pepper off. Natasha, for her part, was already dressed to go outside. Then again, she had planned to get Pepper out. 

“Fine.” That was the answer Natasha wanted, so she just got out of Pepper’s way and wandered over to where her wallet and shoes were. It was late spring, and definitely warm enough for a t-shirt and jeans. Still, she grabbed one of her leather jackets, just in case, and leaned against the wall. Sooner than she had expected, Pepper emerged, dressed just as casually as Natasha. The redhead could easily figure out the reasons for that, but she didn’t say anything. 

“Ready?” She pushed off of the wall and meandered over to Pepper, slipping her hand in her girlfriend’s without prompting.

“No, but I know you won’t take that answer.” There was a nod from Natasha before she tightened her grip on Pepper’s hand and started towing her girlfriend out the door.

“We’re just doing lunch, then we’re coming home. Small steps.” Natasha said, reassuring her girlfriend. She wished she had better experience with this, and not for the first time. But her transition into a Super was so drastically different from Pepper’s that it was sometimes hard for her to guide her girlfriend through the obstacles. No one they knew, at least closely, had a similar experience, and Natasha’s own weren’t even brought up in polite conversation. Re-introducing Pepper into society was proving to be more difficult than Natasha had anticipated, and even her near endless patience was running out. Pepper was stubborn, not to the level of stupidity, but enough that it made Natasha want to scream sometimes. The thing was, though, that despite all of Pepper’s success and her powerful position, her girlfriend’s self-esteem was utter shit sometimes. And in the weirdest ways. Natasha was sure that only herself and Tony had ever seen that side of Pepper, but it sometimes drove Natasha nuts. And she couldn’t figure out how to fix it, other than reassurance and staying by her girlfriend’s side. 

“Nat, the elevator doors are open,” the redhead blinked, coming back to the present. She had gotten lost in her head, worrying about things that didn’t need attention at the moment. Pepper needed her attention, not her own frustrations at the situation. So she just laughed and shook her head.

“Yeah, sorry. Was thinking there for a moment.” She said as they exited the elevator and headed for the building’s exit. The location of Avengers Tower was a rather good one, and many things were well-within walking distance. Which, in New York City, meant a lot. 

“Don’t hurt yourself there.” Pepper replied sarcastically and the Avenger’s response was to stick her tongue out at her girlfriend again. At least Pepper was in a good enough mood to tease, that at least told Natasha that Pepper was comfortable. At least, to an extent. All Natasha needed to do was keep Pepper occupied and happy, until her girlfriend calmed down enough to be less nervous. 

“Where are we going for lunch?” Pepper offered no resistance as Natasha led her out of the building. Though, the vice-like grip that the CEO had on Natasha’s hand spoke volumes. It was going be like exposing a skittish animal to new people, except this animal could melt iron. Still, Natasha trusted Pepper’s control, and she trusted her own judgment. While this wasn’t going to be the easiest thing she had ever done, she had a moderate amount of experience with pulling people out of self-imposed isolation. Granted, with Barton, she had hauled his ass out, literally, and tossed him into a carnival. Which, essentially, was like throwing her partner to a pack of wolves and relying on his self-preservation. That wasn’t going to work with Pepper, and Natasha had been delicately probing the problem until she felt she could coerce Pepper out into the wild. 

“Cafe two blocks down, if that’s okay with you.” It was definitely a good goal, not too far from the Tower, and Pepper was particularly fond of that cafe. The nod that Natasha caught out of the corner of her eye was enough to reassure her that the choice had been a good one. And she definitely felt reassured when she didn’t even have to prompt Pepper to move, her girlfriend started off on her own. Pepper’s confidence was definitely coming back, and that was going to make the process that much easier. 

“Tony sent me a box of marshmallows yesterday. And some peeps, not sure where he found peeps this late, but he did.” Natasha snorted a laugh at that, walking alongside her girlfriend. 

“He’s trying to help in the only way he knows how. And that way is being a total asshole.” Natasha reminded Pepper, not that she had to. Pepper knew all too well Tony’s habits.

“I know. And I don’t mind, peeps are delicious.” Natasha wrinkled her nose at that statement. “Yeah, I know. They’re too sweet, but you say that about a lot of American candy, yet I still catch you eating it.” The CEO nudged Natasha in the ribs, and Natasha stated still enough for it.

“Only some of it.” The redhead managed to say that with snootiest tone of voice she could manage before breaking down and laughing immediately after. “Look, we’re halfway there.” The cafe was around the next two corners, and Natasha was actually hungry. It seemed clear enough, until they rounded the corner and found a mass of people surrounding a store front. News cameras included. Natasha could feel Pepper’s hand get hot, faster than she’d seen it before. Still, she kept a tight grip on her girlfriend, waiting until she could see a moment where she could extract both of them. But people were crowding behind them, pressing them towards the crowd in front.

“Fuck.” Natasha muttered under her breath, trying to ignore how hot Pepper was starting to run. They needed to get out of there, and fast. The redhead was searching frantically for a gap to pull them out of the crowd, and the moment she spotted it she just hauled Pepper and half dragged-half carried her girlfriend out of there. And then she kept them moving until they were both in the foyer of the Tower. Natasha got Pepper to a chair and forced her to sit down, extracting her hand from the vice-like grip Pepper had on it.

“Hey, we’re okay. We’re back at the Tower, alright? You’re okay.” Natasha was aware that while Tony couldn’t completely remove Extremis from Pepper’s body, she was never in danger of becoming a human bomb. Still, it bothered Natasha to see Pepper run hot enough to burn people. As subtly as she could manage, she kept the hand that had been holding Pepper’s out of view. There was little doubt that it was burned, and her other as well, though not as badly. And Pepper didn’t need to see that. She took the hand she wasn’t hiding and cupped Pepper’s chin, forcing her girlfriend to look at her. Natasha was crouching in front of her girlfriend, trying to get Pepper to focus.

“Shit.” After a few moments, the expletive caused Natasha to laugh. If Pepper was swearing, Pepper was okay. Well, as okay as the situation could be. 

“We’ll try again tomorrow, okay? Exposing yourself to people is the only way you’re going to get back to your life. You and I both know that, so we keep trying. We keep trying until you don’t freak out.” Natasha took her free hand and moved it to her girlfriend’s cheek. She could feel Pepper’s temperature dropping, meaning that the CEO was calming down.

“Pretty sure throwing someone to the wolves is not how you treat PTSD, Nat.” Natasha just shot Pepper a grin a stood up, flopping down on the bench next to her.

“Actually, it’s called Prolonged Exposure Therapy, and you hiding from the world isn’t going to make you happy, Pep. So we just keep trying this until it works, or we find another solution. If I really though this wasn’t what you wanted, we wouldn’t be doing it. But you miss being out in the world, and it’s killing you to hide away like some hermit. So we fix it.” Pepper just sighed and leaned on Natasha, dropping her head to her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“I know you’re right, and I know you wouldn’t be reckless or stupid with this. I trust you, and I do want to go back to how things were before. It’s just hard, and absolutely terrifying.” Pepper’s sigh tore at Natasha’s heart. 

“I get it, and I would give anything to make this all go away. We tried, and Tony did the best that he could. It’ll be okay, though. You’re too stubborn to give up.” Pepper’s snort lifted Natasha’s spirits a little bit. “Let’s go home and order in lunch, yeah?” the CEO nodded, but didn’t move her head. “C’mon, I’m hungry,” the redhead nudged her shoulder up and dislodged Pepper, the other woman groaning and sitting up.

“Fine.” She tried to sound disgruntled, but Natasha knew otherwise. Pulling herself to her feet, she grabbed Pepper’s hand with her left hand, pulling her girlfriend up. And then held her girlfriend’s right hand. It went fine until they reached their floor and Pepper snagged the redhead’s right hand, where she was hiding it in her pocket.

“What?” Was all Natasha got out before Pepper had her hand up to eye-level, inspecting it.

“That’s what I thought. I burned you, and you were hiding it.” Now Pepper actually sounded disgruntled, and upset. It took Natasha a moment to try and explain.

“First off, how did you figure that out. Secondly, you freak out when you accidentally burn people and it’s minor. It’ll heal in a few days, it’s not an issue.” She tried to reclaim her hand, but Pepper’s strength now matched her own, and Natasha was shorter, with less leverage. 

“You always hold my hand with your right. Always. And it’s not minor, Natasha. I hurt you.” Natasha tried tugging her hand out of Pepper’s grip again. 

“You are too damn observant. Also, think of it as revenge for that time I decked you in my sleep. Now give me my hand back so we can eat lunch, and then have crazy sex.” That caused Pepper to blink, and paused enough that Natasha was able to get her hand back. “It doesn’t hurt, Pepper. Like I said, it’ll heal in a few days.” Still, she held that hand to her chest, watching Pepper’s reactions.

“You had a legitimate reason for punching me, I did the exact opposite of what you told me to do to wake you up. And you’re lying, it hurts. I can tell.” Natasha just rolled her eyes and stood there, facing off against her girlfriend.

“And it was accidental, just like this was. Your control gets a little wonky when you get scared, that’s normal. So it hurts, it doesn’t hurt a lot. It’s more tender. Now, food then sex.” And to prove her point, she tugged Pepper along with her injured hand. Pepper’s disgruntled sigh let Natasha know she had won.

“You’re serious about the sex?” Natasha had been waiting for that question, and she stopped and turned to Pepper.

“I remember promising a reward if we got out of the house, yeah? Pretty sure you like that reward. You like it a lot. But I’m also fucking starving, so sex can wait until we’ve eaten. Plus, I’d ask if you even wanted it, but I’m pretty sure you’ll be down for it.” She dropped Pepper’s hand and headed into the kitchen to scavenge. It took Pepper a minute to process, and then she burst out laughing.

“You know, sometimes I think I understand your thought processes, and then you pull stunts like that, and I’m honestly convinced your brain is one giant roulette wheel.” Natasha didn’t even grace that comment with a response. Granted, she was busy climbing the counter because Tony Stark did not design things for short people, and instead of remodeling, she just climbed like a damn monkey.


End file.
